Ki Savo

The 'Tochachah' , the word that is synonymous with speed reading ba'alei kora and hebrew expressions we're happy not knowing their true meaning.

However since it is the highlight of our parshah and it most definitely bears a message for us, I'll share two short points.

1) I am not sure of the source for referring to our parshah as the Tochachah, but you are welcome to judge the appropriateness of this name for yourself.

מוסר ה' בני אל תמאס, ואל תקץ בתוכחתו (mishlei 3.1) The Vilna Gaon explains the difference between the two expressions of admonishment as one - בתוכחתו through speech, and the other - מוסר through physical pain or discomfort. תוכחה is clear guidance. מוסר is restraining discipline.

Similarly, the מגיד מישרים explains the the different languages of distaste in this pasuk. תמאס refers to something which is disliked because of its own intrinsic nature. Whereas תקץ refers to a disliking for something which may intrinsically be pleasant but due to its abundant repetitiveness, one gets tired of it to the point of disgust. Therefore, Shlomoh hamelech tells us not to have an aversion to the physical and prohibitive nature of מוסר , and regarding the pleasant guiding words of תוכחה , we are told not to dislike them even though the Torah abounds with them throughout.

2) The Gemarah in Mesechta Brachos (5a) describes a great reward for someone who accepts יסוריםwith love. We all hope not to be the subject for this discussion. However we all have some יסורים so it is something to be aware of. The three responses to troubles we may have are as follows:

• Rejecting - which is expressed as anger. This is not accepting G-D's decree at all.
• Accepting - unhappily, but trusting that somehow it was for the good and it was well deserved.
• Accepting - happily, noticing the message G-D is trying to convey, and growing from the experience.

Let's try to get things right in the first place so we shouldn't need מוסר or תוכחה and may we all be blessed with a כתיבה וחתימה טובה!

This month's learning At Kollel Hashechunah has been sponsored

לע'נ

ר' אברהם אביש זצ'ל בן

ר' שמואל חיים ז'ל

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To sponsor/ co- sponsor, please see R' Dovi Milstein or email kollelh@gmail.com.

Re: [KollelH blog] Ki Seitzay

WAR! That's what the 'bookends' of our parshah speak about. Though we don't like to judge books by their covers, the parshah's beginning with מלחמת רשות and ending with the מלחמת מצוה against Amalek, has a message for us regarding the rest of the parshah as well.

....וראית בשביה אשת יפת תואר וחשקת בה  "And you will see amongst the captives a woman of nice appearance, and you will want her.... Chazal say that the words וחשקת בה teach us that even if the woman looks מכוערת- displeasing, if you want her, the halachos of the following p'sukim apply.

If so, asks the Ohr Hachaim, aren't the words אשת יפת תואר - a woman of nice appearance, superfluous? As long as the soldier would like her, he may take her, so why does the Torah mention the nice appearance?

Using some of  Ohr Hachaim's lengthy answer but deviating somewhat, I would like to share an approach to the whole parshah with our readers.

The Ramban says that if the captive willingly accepts גרות , the rest of the halachos do not apply. She is accepted as any proselyte without any other conditions. The limitations set in the parshah only apply to the captive woman who unwillingly accepts her fate. Then, a very different procedure of גרות is required.

We find in other parshios commentators who write that when the Torah describes a nice physical appearance of someone, it is because they have attained some spiritual perfection which is expressed in their appearance.

According to the above, we can understand the parshah to be referring to two entirely different situations. Assuming the יפת תואר's inner beauty plays a role in the Torah's description here, we can say that she would accept the גרות wholeheartedly! She can then be married as a regular Jewish woman would. 'וחשקת בה' on the other hand, refers to a woman who lacks the aforementioned spirituality. She is only being מגיירת because of her plight. Only she requires the special process of גרות  mentioned in the parshah.

Consequently, these two women may even be married to the same soldier, since the limitation of taking one and not two women ( בה- ולא בה וחברתה ) only applies to unwilling  proselytes.

Rashi says our subject flows into the next two paragraphs in our parshah. This affirms our understanding that the soldier married both women, as the Torah describes a man who is married to two women, one who is אהובה - beloved, and the other שנואה - disliked. (see ba'al haturim that this refers to a recommended and unrecommended marriage) The parshah then ends with the ill-fated בן סורר ומורה . With the approach above we can safely assume that he was born to the unwilling מכוערת, who was taken as a result of וחשקת בה.

The question remains, why is the displeasing woman described as  וחשקת בה? The Malbim says the term חשק refers to a new appreciation for something that was not naturally or originally desired. It is a desire that one creates and develops a taste for on his own. The words וחשקת בה then, is a VERY precise description of a naturally displeasing woman, which someone has developed an unnatural desire for, on his own. This is similar to what Chazal call a מגרה יצר הרע someone who draws upon himself a new desire that he did not naturally have.

Hashem provides us with the perfect balance of spiritual and material tendencies for our challenges in life, and growth. For the challenges Hashem has given us, there are clear, guaranteed methods for success. Any new desires we train ourselves into appreciating is an "enter at your own risk" zone. The regular help of Heaven afforded to G-D given challenges, is not provided for these. This was the first step in the downfall of the miraglim as Hashem told Moshe " שלח לך - send the spies for your own interest, this is not an endeavour that I placed you into".

Here lies the message of our parshah. Please note that every (I think) מצות עשה in parshas KI seitzay  begins with KI - if or when. meaning that we are dealing with mitzvos that are NOT inevitable. All the mitzvos arise through scenarios which not necessarily have to happen. Most are situations which we, or others brought upon ourselves voluntarily. Parshas Ki seitzay introduces all of these 'מלחמות רשות' with the warning of the bleak end of the בן סורר ומורה. The only wars the that Torah recommends, are the ones that must be fought. Amalek pounced upon us without any 'invitation' from our side. Those are the only type of challenges we can hope for success in, the ones that are thrown upon us without any volunteering on our end. 

The natural domain of the יצר הרע is our שס'ה גידין - to challenge us by enticing us to commit any, or all of the 365 negative commandments. The word מגרה - (the one who draws desire upon himself) has the numerical value of 248, this signifies the extended arena of רמ'ח מצוות עשה challenges that the  יצר הרע has control over, when we develope nisyonos for ourselves.

Have a great Shabbos!

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Posted By KH to KollelH blog at 8/20/2010 05:52:00 PM

Re: [KollelH blog] RE"EH

ראה אנכי נתן לפניכם היום ברכה וקללה

Many question the change of vernacular from singular to plural, as Moshe rabeinu spoke to Klal Yisrael in the first pasuk of our parshah. The pasuk reads as follows: ראה -"See" - in the singular form (as opposed to ראו), and then continues, אנכי נותן לפניכם I give before you - plurally (as opposed to לפניך).

A most interesting and thought provoking (though not quite understandable) answer comes from the מגיד מישרים (the angelic heavenly voice that the בית יוסף was accustomed to hearing). He says that ברכה וקללה are actually spiritual entities that exist in the world. They are not simply  prayers or good and evil wishes, but they are creations of G-D, similar to the soul and angels, which are existant as spiritual matter and not just theoretical ideas. This is why the terminology of "giving" a ברכה is appropriate and very litteral, as the מברך actually gives and places this spiritual matter of ברכה upon the recipient. However only the few and very holy people amongst the masses wer able to perceive these spiritual entities, just as most people could not see angels, spirits, and the like. Therefore Moshe said regarding the few singular individuals who were on the level to see the ברכה וקללה being given, ראה - singularly; whereas the placement, though not visible to all, was actually done before all of Klal Yisrael and so it was correct to say לפניכם - plurally.

This idea is in harmony with the what we know about Bil'am. Chazal say Bil'am's power rested in the fact that he knew of when קללה can come upon the world.

These facts reinforce our knowledge that the spiritual spheres of the world exist no differently than the tangible material world we are used to, with a mechanism and science of its own. Mitzvah gorreres mitzvah and aveirah gorreres aveirah, for example, are like chemical chain reactions that we can bank on, or be seriously concerned about, no different than the beneficial  reaction to medicine or the very real danger of poisons.

As we announce the approach of Chodesh Elul this shabbos, let us appreciate the reality of the spiritual environment of the month. The roshei teivos of Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li inform us that Elul is a month long, private honeymoon for kneses yisroel and Hashem. What a golden opportunity to reconnect and develop a stronger bond than before. What a terrible time for even the slightest negativity to arise in the relationship!

Ah gutten shabbos & ah gutten chodesh!

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Posted By KH to KollelH blog at 8/06/2010 03:44:00 PM

Re: [KollelH blog] Eikev

A great focal point of this week's parshah is what is commonly known as the Parshas Hayir'ah. Many have the custom of reciting this inspiring paragraph daily as it somewhat sums up all that G-D is asking of us. It begins (10:12) by proclaiming ועתה ישראל מה ה' אלקיך שואל מעמך, כי אם ליראה את ה' אלקיך... "And now Yisrael what is Hashem asking of you? Only to fear Hashem your G-D…"
We can probably identify with Chazal's question (megillah 25a)- Is fear of G-D something small to ask for that Moshe Rabeinu would use the words "only to fear"? However, the Gemarah's answer is still a little troubling. "Yes, relative to Moshe it is a minuscule thing." How does this answer our question? Moshe Rabeinu was not looking in the mirror talking to himself! He was speaking to all of Klal Yisrael and, yet, he still referred to Yir'ah as something small!

The gemarah continues to present a mashal. "When one is asked to lend something he owns, even if it is quite an important object, it does not seem to be a big deal in his eyes. However, if he was asked even for something very small, but he does not have it, it feels to him like a big request." What was unclear to us that required a parable for us to understand and how does the mashal help?

Fear of G-D has multiple meanings. The Rambam (yesodei haTorah 2:2) writes that it is an emotion which results from thinking into the great and awesome wisdom of G-D, as apparent in His handiwork and Torah. The Rambam continues to write (hilchos teshuvah 10:1) that fearing the curses and punishments enumerated in the Torah is not the level of fear expected of prophets and the wise men, but rather it is appropriate for simpletons and beginners. Everyone has some level of yir'as shamayim and we all have some room to improve as well.

What level of fear is being asked of us in the parshas hayir'ah? I believe that this is the subject of discussion in the above gemarah. The gemarah simply assumed that Moshe was stating Hashem's request "only" for a level of fear that we have not yet attained. With this in mind, Chazal ask, "Is that something small to ask for?" Whereupon the gemarah answers that relative to Moshe any level of fear is quite small, not because it was easy to attain, but, as clarified in the mashal, because he has already attained that level. Everyone according to his level of achievement also feels the same way about the level of fear he already has! It is only regarding the next level - that which we have not yet reached which appears to be a big deal to ask for. Moshe was correctly using the term "only" as he was referring to the level of yir'ah that we already possess!

Perhaps, this can give us a new understanding in the beginning of this week's parshah as well. Rashi explains the first pasuk to mean that if we pay attention to the light mitzvos which people tread upon with their heels, we will be blessed. This does not necessarily refer to evil people who show disregard for G-D's commandments. This can be in reference to anyone as we naturally feel that what we have already achieved and gotten used to is not so special. We tend to look forward with excitement only to 'new' and 'different' mitzvos as the common ones we always perform lose their luster and shine.

From this we can understand that although we should strive to continuously grow in our yir'as Hashem and in all mitzvos, the parshas hayir'ah is requesting of us to just retain the level we already have and not to lose it by pursuing opposing endeavors. Let us not to be too casual and dull about the commandments we already fulfill!

May this help us have a true nechamah– a change of perspective and re-assessment – to appreciate, value and rejoice in that which we have, in place of the mourning of the beis hamikdash that we are missing.

Nachamu Nachamu Ami!

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Posted By KH to KollelH blog at 7/28/2010 11:09:00 PM

Re: [KollelH blog] Devarim - Chodesh Av

Sefer Devarim opens as 'mussar shmooze' from Moshe Rabeinu to the young generation about to enter Eretz Yisrael. Rashi writes that in a show of respect for klal yisrael Moshe did not want to openly rebuke them. The names of places mentioned in the psukim are actually hinting to the downfalls our nation experienced in those places.

Rav Moshe Feinstein ztz"l offers another purpose for this indirect manner of criticism. Moshe did not want to expose the new generation to evils that they were not yet aware of. Informing an individual with the ways of the wicked, plants those ideas into the realm of possibility in his mind. Therefore Moshe chose to just hint to the sins that were committed, so that those who already knew of them would understand the reference, while the innocent minds amongst them would not be affected. (The most infamous sins were able to be addressed openly.)
Perhaps we can introduce another possible explanation. There is an often qouted pasuk in mishlei (1:8) led me to this understanding. "Shma bni mussar avicha v'al titosh toras imecha" - Listen my son to the discipline of your father and do not ignore the instruction of your mother. Why is it that mussar comes from the father but Torah - instruction from the mother? Secondly, why must we tell the son to be attentive and listen to his father, whereas he does not need that prodding to listen to his mother, rather he needs only not to ignore her?
I believe we can answer as follows. We find numerous instances in chazal that speak of an interesting point in the relationship of a son to his father. "One should ask himself, 'When will my actions be comparable to those of my fathers?' ." "A son is like the leg of his father". The image of Yaakov withheld Yosef from aishes Potifar.
It appears to me that chazal note the tendency of a son to naturally feel 'measured against' and judged relative his father's accomplishments. A son subconsciously feels that he is the foot stepping into his father's large shoes. This feeling is so overbearing that the father's mere existence is already a critique of his son. A father does not need to openly instruct his son. Given the dynamics of their relationship, direct criticism can be too powerful for the son to absorb constructively, leaving him a dangerously low self esteem. A father can merely hint to his expectations, and so long as his son is listening attentively, the subtle rebuke will be heard and well taken. A mother on the other hand, with her love and softer nature can offer clear instruction to her son without him feeling offended. She may directly give orders, so the son does not need to be especially attentive to understand her. He just should not ignore her.

Rav Avrahm Schor has said that the month of  "AV" is the month when our Father in heaven is quite near us it is the closeness preceding Elul. It is specifically that closeness which creates a great measure of unfulfilled expectations of the son's 'owning up' to his Father.

Perhaps the new generation, who were not the same strong, red-necked, 'am kshei oref ' as their predecessors could not bear the direct form of mussar given to the generation before. The mussar of Moshe rabeinu had to be expressed more subtly, in an indirect fashion.

In the month of AV let us listen to the subtle critique from Avinu shebashamayim. Let the indirect message of the roshei taivos of 'A.V.' - Elul Ba'ah- arouse our souls to prepare for the coming season.

Let's not let our FATHER down. May this tishah b'av become a day of rejoicing!