Toldos - Matamim

 Toldos - Matamim

It seems beneath the self-respect of Yitzchok to ask for מטעמים . And as embarrassing as it seems, the Torah continues to describe numerous times the preparations of the מטעמים which he "loved". I heard from a dear friend of mine, that perhaps this was an expression of care for Eisav's "profession". But Rivkah also describes them as such and the Torah as well describes them objectively as מטעמים  that Yitchok wanted.

Perhaps we can explain that although it is a bit unpleasant to stress the material pleasures that one enjoys, for Chinuch purposes it is important to make it known that Tzaddikim are truly enriched אשריך בעולם הזה וטוב לך בעולם הבאי . Not that a Tzaddik pursues these pleasures, but when they do present themselves, they are truly enjoyed on multiple levels; as the simple pleasure that it is and the deep appreciation that it is a personal gift from the Creator. A Rasha, in his negative mindset will misconstrue even the most sublime pleasures; the Pesach seder with Matzoh, meat, wine, reclining, and all, as מה העבודה הזאת לכם . But we should not hide the tremendous pleasures we experience in this world, to show אשריך בעולם הזה . This explains the battle Rashi describes within the womb of Rivkah over the possession of the two worlds. It seems strange that there should be a fight. Eisav wants Olam Hazeh, and Yakov is getting Olam Haba'ah! But truthfully Yakov is really taking the lion's share of BOTH. The life of Torah grants not only Olam Habah but Olam Hazeh as well. This was something Eisav could not accept. - And it is something incumbent upon us to show the world. We have it all.

Chayei Sarah – Camels, Chessed vs Gemilus Chassadim

 Chayei Sarah – Camels, Chessed vs Gemilus Chassadim 

The mentioning of the people of חת  ten times is noted in the medrash as a significant "shout out" in recognition of their support of the transaction of a Talmid Chacham; Avraham Avinu. However the mentioning of camels that Eliezer took with him goes almost unnoticed. 

The Kli Yakar does associate the test of Rivkah's Gemilus Chasadim to the camels. Someone who is so enwrapped in being a Gomel Chassadim, would instinctively notice a Gamal since they sound similar. This concept we find elsewhere, like the agalos - wagons - of Yosef hinting to עגל ערופה and the נחש הנחושת  that Moshe made. ((לשון נופל על לשון 

However, I believe that there is a much stronger relationship between the two that extends beyond the realm of just language. 

R' Samson Rephael Hirsch explains that a גמל is the most independent animal, in that it may distance itself from the most life giving element, a source of water, farther and longer than any other creature. Thus its name גמל  connotates something that weaned off from its source, like a toddler weaned off from his nursing mother.

 

The mishnah states that the world stands on Torah Avodah & Gemilus Chasadim. Not Chessed, but Gemilus Chassadim. Let's explain. 

R' Chaim Valozhiner notices that these pillars - represented by the Avos, seem in reversed order. Avraham's chessed should be first, and Yakov's Torah should be last. But, he explains, that once Torah was given it redefined the other qualifications. The original open-ended, never-ending extreme chessed of Avraham Avinu was fine before the Torah was give. But once we have the Torah, Chessed has its rules, guidelines and limitations and priorities as with any other mitzvah. The same applies to Avodah. Previous to the Torah, any avodah would suffice. A bamah, mizbeach, matzeivah, which animals and how or when they were offered was all up to the bal hakorban. But with the Torah came very specific instructions about every detail of korbanos. Hence, the Torah is the pillar that now allows the other two to hold up the world within the Torah's specifications.

This perhaps is why it states specifically Gemilus Chassadim. The truest form of loving-kindness is to give the recipient his own independence and not to feed into his neediness to the point that he remains eternally dependent. Our sages teach us that giving to others should be limited to those who can be expected to at least reciprocate back with a thank you! Giving to one who is not makir tova is not allowed, as giving with no expectations encourages dependency. Gemilus Chassadim is chessed done in a way that allows the recipient to feel independent and weaned off from his benefactor.  

CHAYEI SARAH - FILTERS

CHAYEI SARAH - FILTERS

In the beginning of the parsha we learn of Sarah's death caused by the unfiltered words of the Akeida's news bearer and his awful choice of words caused her death.

R' Yeruchom Levovitz sees this as a very important warning about the potency of one's words. Instead of starting off by saying "I have good news, your son is alive. Now let me tell you what almost happened", for the simple, selfish sake of adding drama to a story a person may sadden, and even shock his listener to death.

 

Eliezer was the Shadchan and we know שקר דובר כסף נוטל. This acronym is not meant to jab shadchanim, rather it is in recognition of their outstanding efforts. The shadchan would love to be totally truthful and it is difficult and unpleasant for them to have to lie. But lie they must. This is actually the whole purpose of a shadchan! To diplomatically make necessary adjustments when the absolute truth would be too much for the other side to initially bear. When Eliezer repeats the story to Lavan he says that when he asked for a drink, Rivkah verbally offered him and his camels as well. This actually was not the case. Only after he finished drinking did she then offer for the cmels. R' Chaim Kanievsky explains that this was adjustmnet from the truth was done smartly by Eliezer, to express such an instinctive level of extreme chessed that Rivkah would immediately offer the camels as well, would be something her family would abhor. - And they would be happy to rid themselves of this goody goody child of theirs!

Perhaps this is why Avraham did not himself go to his own family to arrange the shidduch. If he were to go personally, his other-wordly goodness would turn them off! Similarly, when Rivkah, the ultimate balas chessed first saw Yitzchok it startled her in contrast to her chessed!

 

A shidduch needs a middleman to buffer bold differences and to polish rough edges. That is how shidduchim work.

Chazal teach us that man was created with two barriers on his mouth, his teeth and his lips, to restrain and block from certain types of speech. We may add that here we see another additional layer of protection. Use another filter! A middleman, an editor, another opinion to check the nuances of your language in specially sensitive matters.

החיים והמות ביד הלשון

Chayei Sarah - Middos

 Chayei Sarah - Middos

We find at the end of the Parsha Avraham marries Keturah who Rashi identifies as Hagar. She was called Keturah because  שמעשיה נאים כקטורת. This may be understood as we find one of the ingredients of the ketores was an independently unpleasant spice; the חלבנה. However, together with the other 10 spices he totality of the kitores had an irresistible aroma. So too, the negative aspects of Hagar, upon her return from Egypt to Avraham and his holy ways, were now enhancing the totality of her deeds as her teshuvah reversed her past and she even no carried a new name as the Rambam states in hilchos teshuvah.

However there is something important to note. Even after her return, we still find that all of her offspring did not amount to much. The medrash relates that Avraham even built an iron city for some of them, within which sunlight never shined and he gave over to them the secrets of black magic! What happened to all of Hagar's children?

I believe that this is because only מעשיה נאים . Her deeds were now all good, but her middos remained rooted and were never changed completely or perfected. Like Rashi said last week’s parsha referring to Hagar's return to Egypt, that a thrown branch, returns to its root. The perfection of character to the extent that it becomes part of the person's dna, can have an eternal effect upon his future generations. It is regarding those middos that we call our Avos exactly that - Avos that transfer their character to their offspring. But just because someone has good deeds, that doesn't transfer to the next generation. Only Middos. 

Let's get working. ;-) 

Lech L'cha Hapalit & HaIvri

Lech L'cha  Hapalit & HaIvri

Rashi informs us of Og's sinister intent to have Avraham run to a sure death in war and Og could then take Sarah as his wife. We may ask from where did the medrash extrapolate this idea? Perhaps it is the general approach of חסד לאומים חטאת  - That even the kindness of Gentiles is assumed to be selfishly driven and considered a sin. But precisely this intent seems to be a leap? We also may ask where on earth did Og get the idea that he would be a fitting match for Sarah?

R' Moshe Zakheim asked why is it that Rashi only introduces this intent after telling us a second reason for Og's title here - Hapalit - the refugee of the flood. Shouldn't his intent follow the fact that he ran from the war hoping Avraham would fall? 

Perhaps we can say, that as we mentioned in Parshas Noach, there is stark distinction between how Noach and Og were saved from the mabul. Noach was saved as part of the world community - Hashgacha Klalis. Whereas Og was a true loner, refugee being saved from within the onslaught of the flood itself. This suggests that Og had something very unique about himself that set him apart from Noach - and perhaps aligns him a bit more in relation to Avraham Ha'Ivri. This is why it is here that the passuk says the "palit" came and told the "Ivri". In some way they were both very alone in the world. They were unique and had outstanding qualities that made them both outliers. And so the refugee of the mabul, had thoughts that he might marry the "Ivri's" widow. This also may explain the specific reward for schar p'sios - as a lonely "introvert" for him to go out of his comfort zone, his "daled amos" was a big deal. As was lech l'cha  for Avraham who spent 20 years of his life living in underground tunnels. 

LECH L'CHA Holy Letters and Holy People

 

We find the power of the not so simple letters of the Aleph Beis with Hashem adding a ה  to Avram's name thus enabling him to have children and also editing Sarai's name to allow her as well to bear a child.

The Yalkut Shemoni in the beginning of the parsha states a tradition that we have regarding the 5 double letters; .מנצפך  They are all associated with geulah, a redemption of sorts. Avraham was saved drom Ur Kasdim with the double כ  of . לך לך . Yitzchok was saved from the Philistines with the double מ   of ממנו מאוד. Yaakov was saved from Eisav with the double נ'  of הצילני נא.  And from Egypt we were redeemed with the double פ  of פקוד יפקוד.

What remains is the final redemption of Moshiach represented by the double צ   of צמח....יצמח.

I would like to suggest perhaps a pathway for us to set that in motion. The Torah also has a double צ  in consecutive Roshei Teivos. צדק צדק ירדוף. Perhaps if we can find and chase צדק  all around us by applying בצדק תשפוט עמיתיך, always seeing 'every yid's a big tzaddik' it would ignite the double צ   above as well and bring the final redemption in hastily in our days. 

NOACH WAS A MAN

NOACH WAS A MAN OF…

I  was asked why Noach was tasked with such menial labor. Not only to feed the animals but even cleaning up after them and removing all refuse to the basement! 

Perhaps we may suggest that as many already have said, the world was created to an עולם חסד but over the course of time it became filled with selfish dishonesty and  חמס. The mabul was brought to reset the world upon a renewed footing of עולם חסד יבנה.  But all our successful leaders had a particular attribute that we haven't yet seen expressed in Noach. He was an ISH - which is a title often used to describe an important noble character. Our greatest leaders were all so efective because of their complete selflessness and humbleness. And so although taking care of the animals and the future of all creation was certainly chessed, the ultimate seeds for the new foundations of the world must be sown with humility. Complete, absolute self annulment. This was the avodah of Noach. Not only chessed, but selfless, self depreciating chessed. Perhaps this may also be hinted to as the successful culmination of Noach's mission; וישאר אך נח - He remained "just Noach" - without his previous illustrious titles of Ish, Tzaddik, Tamim. He remained just Noach.