Ki Savo

The 'Tochachah' , the word that is synonymous with speed reading ba'alei kora and hebrew expressions we're happy not knowing their true meaning.

However since it is the highlight of our parshah and it most definitely bears a message for us, I'll share two short points.

1) I am not sure of the source for referring to our parshah as the Tochachah, but you are welcome to judge the appropriateness of this name for yourself.

מוסר ה' בני אל תמאס, ואל תקץ בתוכחתו (mishlei 3.1) The Vilna Gaon explains the difference between the two expressions of admonishment as one - בתוכחתו through speech, and the other - מוסר through physical pain or discomfort. תוכחה is clear guidance. מוסר is restraining discipline.

Similarly, the מגיד מישרים explains the the different languages of distaste in this pasuk. תמאס refers to something which is disliked because of its own intrinsic nature. Whereas תקץ refers to a disliking for something which may intrinsically be pleasant but due to its abundant repetitiveness, one gets tired of it to the point of disgust. Therefore, Shlomoh hamelech tells us not to have an aversion to the physical and prohibitive nature of מוסר , and regarding the pleasant guiding words of תוכחה , we are told not to dislike them even though the Torah abounds with them throughout.

2) The Gemarah in Mesechta Brachos (5a) describes a great reward for someone who accepts יסוריםwith love. We all hope not to be the subject for this discussion. However we all have some יסורים so it is something to be aware of. The three responses to troubles we may have are as follows:

• Rejecting - which is expressed as anger. This is not accepting G-D's decree at all.
• Accepting - unhappily, but trusting that somehow it was for the good and it was well deserved.
• Accepting - happily, noticing the message G-D is trying to convey, and growing from the experience.

Let's try to get things right in the first place so we shouldn't need מוסר or תוכחה and may we all be blessed with a כתיבה וחתימה טובה!

This month's learning At Kollel Hashechunah has been sponsored

לע'נ

ר' אברהם אביש זצ'ל בן

ר' שמואל חיים ז'ל

Lieberman

To sponsor/ co- sponsor, please see R' Dovi Milstein or email kollelh@gmail.com.

Re: [KollelH blog] Ki Seitzay

WAR! That's what the 'bookends' of our parshah speak about. Though we don't like to judge books by their covers, the parshah's beginning with מלחמת רשות and ending with the מלחמת מצוה against Amalek, has a message for us regarding the rest of the parshah as well.

....וראית בשביה אשת יפת תואר וחשקת בה  "And you will see amongst the captives a woman of nice appearance, and you will want her.... Chazal say that the words וחשקת בה teach us that even if the woman looks מכוערת- displeasing, if you want her, the halachos of the following p'sukim apply.

If so, asks the Ohr Hachaim, aren't the words אשת יפת תואר - a woman of nice appearance, superfluous? As long as the soldier would like her, he may take her, so why does the Torah mention the nice appearance?

Using some of  Ohr Hachaim's lengthy answer but deviating somewhat, I would like to share an approach to the whole parshah with our readers.

The Ramban says that if the captive willingly accepts גרות , the rest of the halachos do not apply. She is accepted as any proselyte without any other conditions. The limitations set in the parshah only apply to the captive woman who unwillingly accepts her fate. Then, a very different procedure of גרות is required.

We find in other parshios commentators who write that when the Torah describes a nice physical appearance of someone, it is because they have attained some spiritual perfection which is expressed in their appearance.

According to the above, we can understand the parshah to be referring to two entirely different situations. Assuming the יפת תואר's inner beauty plays a role in the Torah's description here, we can say that she would accept the גרות wholeheartedly! She can then be married as a regular Jewish woman would. 'וחשקת בה' on the other hand, refers to a woman who lacks the aforementioned spirituality. She is only being מגיירת because of her plight. Only she requires the special process of גרות  mentioned in the parshah.

Consequently, these two women may even be married to the same soldier, since the limitation of taking one and not two women ( בה- ולא בה וחברתה ) only applies to unwilling  proselytes.

Rashi says our subject flows into the next two paragraphs in our parshah. This affirms our understanding that the soldier married both women, as the Torah describes a man who is married to two women, one who is אהובה - beloved, and the other שנואה - disliked. (see ba'al haturim that this refers to a recommended and unrecommended marriage) The parshah then ends with the ill-fated בן סורר ומורה . With the approach above we can safely assume that he was born to the unwilling מכוערת, who was taken as a result of וחשקת בה.

The question remains, why is the displeasing woman described as  וחשקת בה? The Malbim says the term חשק refers to a new appreciation for something that was not naturally or originally desired. It is a desire that one creates and develops a taste for on his own. The words וחשקת בה then, is a VERY precise description of a naturally displeasing woman, which someone has developed an unnatural desire for, on his own. This is similar to what Chazal call a מגרה יצר הרע someone who draws upon himself a new desire that he did not naturally have.

Hashem provides us with the perfect balance of spiritual and material tendencies for our challenges in life, and growth. For the challenges Hashem has given us, there are clear, guaranteed methods for success. Any new desires we train ourselves into appreciating is an "enter at your own risk" zone. The regular help of Heaven afforded to G-D given challenges, is not provided for these. This was the first step in the downfall of the miraglim as Hashem told Moshe " שלח לך - send the spies for your own interest, this is not an endeavour that I placed you into".

Here lies the message of our parshah. Please note that every (I think) מצות עשה in parshas KI seitzay  begins with KI - if or when. meaning that we are dealing with mitzvos that are NOT inevitable. All the mitzvos arise through scenarios which not necessarily have to happen. Most are situations which we, or others brought upon ourselves voluntarily. Parshas Ki seitzay introduces all of these 'מלחמות רשות' with the warning of the bleak end of the בן סורר ומורה. The only wars the that Torah recommends, are the ones that must be fought. Amalek pounced upon us without any 'invitation' from our side. Those are the only type of challenges we can hope for success in, the ones that are thrown upon us without any volunteering on our end. 

The natural domain of the יצר הרע is our שס'ה גידין - to challenge us by enticing us to commit any, or all of the 365 negative commandments. The word מגרה - (the one who draws desire upon himself) has the numerical value of 248, this signifies the extended arena of רמ'ח מצוות עשה challenges that the  יצר הרע has control over, when we develope nisyonos for ourselves.

Have a great Shabbos!

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Posted By KH to KollelH blog at 8/20/2010 05:52:00 PM

Re: [KollelH blog] RE"EH

ראה אנכי נתן לפניכם היום ברכה וקללה

Many question the change of vernacular from singular to plural, as Moshe rabeinu spoke to Klal Yisrael in the first pasuk of our parshah. The pasuk reads as follows: ראה -"See" - in the singular form (as opposed to ראו), and then continues, אנכי נותן לפניכם I give before you - plurally (as opposed to לפניך).

A most interesting and thought provoking (though not quite understandable) answer comes from the מגיד מישרים (the angelic heavenly voice that the בית יוסף was accustomed to hearing). He says that ברכה וקללה are actually spiritual entities that exist in the world. They are not simply  prayers or good and evil wishes, but they are creations of G-D, similar to the soul and angels, which are existant as spiritual matter and not just theoretical ideas. This is why the terminology of "giving" a ברכה is appropriate and very litteral, as the מברך actually gives and places this spiritual matter of ברכה upon the recipient. However only the few and very holy people amongst the masses wer able to perceive these spiritual entities, just as most people could not see angels, spirits, and the like. Therefore Moshe said regarding the few singular individuals who were on the level to see the ברכה וקללה being given, ראה - singularly; whereas the placement, though not visible to all, was actually done before all of Klal Yisrael and so it was correct to say לפניכם - plurally.

This idea is in harmony with the what we know about Bil'am. Chazal say Bil'am's power rested in the fact that he knew of when קללה can come upon the world.

These facts reinforce our knowledge that the spiritual spheres of the world exist no differently than the tangible material world we are used to, with a mechanism and science of its own. Mitzvah gorreres mitzvah and aveirah gorreres aveirah, for example, are like chemical chain reactions that we can bank on, or be seriously concerned about, no different than the beneficial  reaction to medicine or the very real danger of poisons.

As we announce the approach of Chodesh Elul this shabbos, let us appreciate the reality of the spiritual environment of the month. The roshei teivos of Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li inform us that Elul is a month long, private honeymoon for kneses yisroel and Hashem. What a golden opportunity to reconnect and develop a stronger bond than before. What a terrible time for even the slightest negativity to arise in the relationship!

Ah gutten shabbos & ah gutten chodesh!

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Posted By KH to KollelH blog at 8/06/2010 03:44:00 PM

Re: [KollelH blog] Eikev

A great focal point of this week's parshah is what is commonly known as the Parshas Hayir'ah. Many have the custom of reciting this inspiring paragraph daily as it somewhat sums up all that G-D is asking of us. It begins (10:12) by proclaiming ועתה ישראל מה ה' אלקיך שואל מעמך, כי אם ליראה את ה' אלקיך... "And now Yisrael what is Hashem asking of you? Only to fear Hashem your G-D…"
We can probably identify with Chazal's question (megillah 25a)- Is fear of G-D something small to ask for that Moshe Rabeinu would use the words "only to fear"? However, the Gemarah's answer is still a little troubling. "Yes, relative to Moshe it is a minuscule thing." How does this answer our question? Moshe Rabeinu was not looking in the mirror talking to himself! He was speaking to all of Klal Yisrael and, yet, he still referred to Yir'ah as something small!

The gemarah continues to present a mashal. "When one is asked to lend something he owns, even if it is quite an important object, it does not seem to be a big deal in his eyes. However, if he was asked even for something very small, but he does not have it, it feels to him like a big request." What was unclear to us that required a parable for us to understand and how does the mashal help?

Fear of G-D has multiple meanings. The Rambam (yesodei haTorah 2:2) writes that it is an emotion which results from thinking into the great and awesome wisdom of G-D, as apparent in His handiwork and Torah. The Rambam continues to write (hilchos teshuvah 10:1) that fearing the curses and punishments enumerated in the Torah is not the level of fear expected of prophets and the wise men, but rather it is appropriate for simpletons and beginners. Everyone has some level of yir'as shamayim and we all have some room to improve as well.

What level of fear is being asked of us in the parshas hayir'ah? I believe that this is the subject of discussion in the above gemarah. The gemarah simply assumed that Moshe was stating Hashem's request "only" for a level of fear that we have not yet attained. With this in mind, Chazal ask, "Is that something small to ask for?" Whereupon the gemarah answers that relative to Moshe any level of fear is quite small, not because it was easy to attain, but, as clarified in the mashal, because he has already attained that level. Everyone according to his level of achievement also feels the same way about the level of fear he already has! It is only regarding the next level - that which we have not yet reached which appears to be a big deal to ask for. Moshe was correctly using the term "only" as he was referring to the level of yir'ah that we already possess!

Perhaps, this can give us a new understanding in the beginning of this week's parshah as well. Rashi explains the first pasuk to mean that if we pay attention to the light mitzvos which people tread upon with their heels, we will be blessed. This does not necessarily refer to evil people who show disregard for G-D's commandments. This can be in reference to anyone as we naturally feel that what we have already achieved and gotten used to is not so special. We tend to look forward with excitement only to 'new' and 'different' mitzvos as the common ones we always perform lose their luster and shine.

From this we can understand that although we should strive to continuously grow in our yir'as Hashem and in all mitzvos, the parshas hayir'ah is requesting of us to just retain the level we already have and not to lose it by pursuing opposing endeavors. Let us not to be too casual and dull about the commandments we already fulfill!

May this help us have a true nechamah– a change of perspective and re-assessment – to appreciate, value and rejoice in that which we have, in place of the mourning of the beis hamikdash that we are missing.

Nachamu Nachamu Ami!

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Posted By KH to KollelH blog at 7/28/2010 11:09:00 PM

Re: [KollelH blog] Devarim - Chodesh Av

Sefer Devarim opens as 'mussar shmooze' from Moshe Rabeinu to the young generation about to enter Eretz Yisrael. Rashi writes that in a show of respect for klal yisrael Moshe did not want to openly rebuke them. The names of places mentioned in the psukim are actually hinting to the downfalls our nation experienced in those places.

Rav Moshe Feinstein ztz"l offers another purpose for this indirect manner of criticism. Moshe did not want to expose the new generation to evils that they were not yet aware of. Informing an individual with the ways of the wicked, plants those ideas into the realm of possibility in his mind. Therefore Moshe chose to just hint to the sins that were committed, so that those who already knew of them would understand the reference, while the innocent minds amongst them would not be affected. (The most infamous sins were able to be addressed openly.)
Perhaps we can introduce another possible explanation. There is an often qouted pasuk in mishlei (1:8) led me to this understanding. "Shma bni mussar avicha v'al titosh toras imecha" - Listen my son to the discipline of your father and do not ignore the instruction of your mother. Why is it that mussar comes from the father but Torah - instruction from the mother? Secondly, why must we tell the son to be attentive and listen to his father, whereas he does not need that prodding to listen to his mother, rather he needs only not to ignore her?
I believe we can answer as follows. We find numerous instances in chazal that speak of an interesting point in the relationship of a son to his father. "One should ask himself, 'When will my actions be comparable to those of my fathers?' ." "A son is like the leg of his father". The image of Yaakov withheld Yosef from aishes Potifar.
It appears to me that chazal note the tendency of a son to naturally feel 'measured against' and judged relative his father's accomplishments. A son subconsciously feels that he is the foot stepping into his father's large shoes. This feeling is so overbearing that the father's mere existence is already a critique of his son. A father does not need to openly instruct his son. Given the dynamics of their relationship, direct criticism can be too powerful for the son to absorb constructively, leaving him a dangerously low self esteem. A father can merely hint to his expectations, and so long as his son is listening attentively, the subtle rebuke will be heard and well taken. A mother on the other hand, with her love and softer nature can offer clear instruction to her son without him feeling offended. She may directly give orders, so the son does not need to be especially attentive to understand her. He just should not ignore her.

Rav Avrahm Schor has said that the month of  "AV" is the month when our Father in heaven is quite near us it is the closeness preceding Elul. It is specifically that closeness which creates a great measure of unfulfilled expectations of the son's 'owning up' to his Father.

Perhaps the new generation, who were not the same strong, red-necked, 'am kshei oref ' as their predecessors could not bear the direct form of mussar given to the generation before. The mussar of Moshe rabeinu had to be expressed more subtly, in an indirect fashion.

In the month of AV let us listen to the subtle critique from Avinu shebashamayim. Let the indirect message of the roshei taivos of 'A.V.' - Elul Ba'ah- arouse our souls to prepare for the coming season.

Let's not let our FATHER down. May this tishah b'av become a day of rejoicing!

BALAK, POWER OF SPEECH

We find the incredible report of Bil'am's donkey talking to him! Although we know that animals can communicate, the power of speech is unique to humankind. This is not a privilege or side benefit granted to the homo-sapien, but specifically the direct expression of the different, not just better, mind and soul that humans possess.

We do not find in chazal that G-D bestowed a mind or soul upon the donkey of Bil'am, rather, in pirkei avos, it states that the mouth of Bil'am's donkey was created on erev shabbos. This would seem that the words of the donkey were not a product of its mind at all, but solely from its mouth. How then can the Torah say that the donkey spoke if the words just eminated from its mouth?

Similarly we may ask regarding Bil'am himself. What was the point of G-D placing the words of brachah into Bil'am's mouth if he surely had no intention of blessing the Jews? Wouldn't those words then be quite meaningless? Yet, we see that Balak was greatly upset by the blessings; obviously, he understood the words would be quite effective!

It seems very clear that the spoken word is powerful, regardless of the mindset or complete lack thereof of the speaker!

This is strongly illustrated once more by the fact that G-D did not merely de-activate Bil'am's power to curse the Jews. This indicates that de-activating the power of one's words would be a greater miracle and change of world order than placing different words into Bil'am's mouth!

We often read and hear about the tremendous importance of having proper concentration during tefilah. Without doubt, that is definitely true! However, we must also recognize the great power of every word emanating from our mouths even when spoken absentmindedly!

This applies not only in Torah and prayer but with words used in social settings as well.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller z"tzl had the beautiful custom to quietly bless pedestrians who passed him by on his daily walk. He would also pause in front of the Mirrer Yeshivah daily and bless all of its students and faculty. In accordance with the passuk, "Va'avarchah mivarachekah" - "And I (Hashem says to Avraham) will bless those who bless you", Rabbi Miller said, he would look forward to blessing others so he would be blessed himself.

There can be no better appliction of the above lesson than to actively start blessing others, without concern as to how much we really mean it. If words can do harm, they most certainly can do tremendous good!

T'hiyu Bruchim!

BALAK

Anyone familiar with this week's parshah and its midrashim about Bilam, would be quite mystified by a related mishnah in Pirkei Avos (5.19).


"One who has these three attributes is amongst the students of Avraham avinu, whereas having their opposite traits would render him a student of Bilam the rashah. Ayin tovah, Ruach n'muchah, & Nefesh sh'failah........ What is the difference between their students? Avraham's students reap reward in this world and inherit the world to come...."

The questions abound.
Are there only three opposing approaches in the schools of thought of our great patriarch and the evil Bilam?! Secondly, how can the mishnah ask what is the difference between them - one would assume they are quite distinguishable from each other! Thirdly, from the mishnah's response, it seems as if their difference lies only in their reward & punishment, which is blatantly self understood. The question and answer seem to be completely uninformative! Lastly, (and classically, the question leading into the answer) why does the mishnah refer to those possessing these traits as talmidim - students? There are many Tanaim suggesting good practices throughout pirkei avos, yet seldom are the followers of these middos called talmidim of their originators!


I would like to share my simple understanding of this remarkable mishnah.

The Medrash Rabbah (parshas toldos) states, that so long as Yakov and Eisav were under bar mitzvah, they both studied in yeshivah and one could not notice any difference in their spirituality. It was only after they turned thirteen, when Eisav left for the fields and Yakov remained to learn, that their differences were exposed. It is not necessarily one's actions that will shape his future, but his underlying middos.
R' Chaim Vital writes (Sharei Hakdushah; qouted in many sifrei mussar) that middos are the foundations upon which all of torah rests. Our character traits and moods are what largely push us either to perform mitzvos or do aveiros.
When a person is accustomed to specific traits, they will usually end up leading his life, and controlling most of his decisions in the future. It is in this training ground that the mishnah refers to us as being talmidim - students. Some traits have a more all-encompassing control over our lives than others. As one trains himself specifically in the above three middos, our mishnah informs us that REGARDLESS of what our actions are at the time, we are students being indoctrinated into the path of either Avraham or Bilam. Our actions at the time may show us to be great tzadikim or vice versa, but we are sure to end up in the manner of our training in these three middos.
This is why the mishnah does not notice any obvious difference between the two "students". It is not discussing someone who has already matured into being an Avraham avinu or a Bilam harashah. Rather it is referring to two people who are quite the same, yet they are practicing and training in the 'schools' of these 'headmasters'.

As the summer rolls in let us check which school we're registered in for the coming semester!

• Ayin tovah - 'a good eye' - a general feeling of good will for others. As opposed to being stingy and unhappy about the success of others.
• Ruach n'muchah - a humble spirit. As opposed to looking for honor and recognition.
• Nefesh sh'failah - a simple 'apetite' - being satisfied with one's lot. As opposed to desiring more and wanting what others may have.

The above especially true regarding children in their formative years, before their actions can properly portray their personality. These youngsters, whose temporary role in life is to be students - learning and training from all their experiences, are definitely included in this mishnah.

Shlach

The beginning and end of this week’s parshah, Shlach, share a similar but not very common term; תור . In the instruction to spy the land ‘v’yasuru’ is used, and in the parshah of tzitzis the well known ‘lo sasuru’ is applied. Interestingly enough, the meaning is quite accurately defined in the english word ‘tour’.

Harav Ezriel Erlanger shlitah (mashgiach of mirrer yeshivah Brooklyn) gleaned a wonderful insight from this connection. We often think that our tendency to follow our heart and eyes comes from the powerful force of our desire, which is hard to avoid, and even more difficult conquer. However the Torah chose this terminology to inform us of a very different cause for our challenge. CURIOSITY.

Our mind and soul have an inquenchable thirst to learn, explore, and grow beyond our previous limits and boundaries. This creates a tremendous draw to constantly seek new information and original experiences. The Torah is teaching us that this nature is indeniable and unavoidable. The choice remains ours how to satiate this hunger which is part and parcle of the human fibre.

I was present one time when Rav Shmuel Berenbaum z”tzl questioned a talmid who had just returned from a two week “winter break” on the west coast. The young man explained his absence, as he was going through a hard time with shidduchim, and he felt a need for a change of scenery. The Rosh Yeshivah laughingly chided the bachur “New Yorkers go to Florida for winter vacation and yet the Floridians come to New York! You see, the point is not the destination but just a change from what you’re used to. A different sugyah or  another mesechtah would have offered the same ‘break’ and ‘change of scenery’”.

The Jews felt the need to explore and learn about the new land they were about to enter. “Tour the land!” was Hashem’s response. But as we know, although Hakodosh Baruch Hu was not in favour of this plan, He allows people to make their own choices. This form of exploration was not the recommended approach to our curiosity. Our thirst for ‘news’ does not have to lead us to the green grass on the other side. There is so much to explore and learn within the infinite wisdom of the Torah!

The parshah of tzitzis is the ultimate תור guide. “Lo sasuru achrei l’vavchem v’achrei eyneichem” don’t explore beyond your physical boundaries! Rather let the tzitzis with all that they represent, be a guide in stretching your mind and soul to go tour areas of thought you never before experienced! Let the number of strings, the knots, the spiral wrapping, and the aquamarine colour lead you to thoughts of all taryag mitzvos  and even to a recognition of the כיסא הכבוד!

For a Jew to be broadminded he does not need to learn from other ideologies. He does not need to follow his eyes to learn about the world outside of him. Nor does he need to open his heart to the materialistic cultures that surround him. The mind is not bound to the physical four borders of our garment. We can learn from our ‘fringes’ that we can explore and extend beyond what we are used to, and yet still be firmly and permanently knotted to the guidelines of the Torah. We can learn to ‘grow’ from our ‘גדילים’. Lastly, we can see from the single string of heavenly תכלת, that one dose of the ‘other worldly’ experience is enough for our curiosity, to allow us to refocus on growing through the everyday Torah, mitzvos, and nisyonos represented in the majority of white strings.

Good Shabbos!

BAMIDBAR

A new sefer, a new beginning! The sefer begins with Bamidbar and ends with Mas'ei. The "bookends" are a sign of the interim state of our nation, described within the parshios. This week's parshah is quite technical with alot of names, numbers, assignments and camping positions.

Why is it that we have an entire sefer dealing with such a transitory state of the Jews? After Matan Torah, the desert experience can almost be described as a prolonged traffic jam on the road from captivity to the Jewish homeland! To dedicate a complete sefer, a 1/5 of the Torah, to such a temporary issue seems a bit out of proportion.

To take this one step further, the Ramban, in his introduction to Sefer Bamidbar, points out, "This book is entirely about temporary commandments....there are no commandments for the practice of future generations (besides for some leftover details regarding the sacrifices of sefer Vayikrah)". Is it not astounding then that we have an entire sefer with no eternal mitzvos and, instead, have a description of an unfortunate delay en-route to our destination?

Another question we may ask is regarding the first topic in our parshah, the counting. Why is this the opening of our sefer and how precise or significant can the numbers be if the population is consistently changing?

There is a wonderful vort from the sefer Yetav Lev (an early achron) in mesechta brachos 3b. He makes a clear distinction there between two types of travelers. One is referred to by chazal as Ovrei Drachim and the other, Holchei Drachim. The former is the typical traveler whose focus on the road is just to get to his destination. The "derech" is a waste of time, the part of his trip which is hopefully "passed over" absentmindedly and without any occurrence. The latter is a person who recognizes Hashem's presence and hashgachah in every step of the way. For him, each moment has meaning and purpose and he is not bothered by the transitory nature of his traveling. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even feel that his state is "just temporary", rather he feels quite comfortable with G-D leading him, as he takes one moment at a time.

This, I believe, is the message of Sefer Bamidbar, in general, and even more so, our parshah. Klall Yisrael, as a nation, became established specifically in a very temporary environment. Our feeling of comfort and assurance should not depend on location or any external factor. Our "home" is with Hashem, regardless of our surroundings. Someone who is in tune with hashgachah can feel alone and at peace with G-D in the middle of Times Square.

The Gemarah (shabbos 31b) regards the dismantling of the Mishkan as soser al m'nas livnos bimkomah - dismantling in order to be rebuilt in its own original place. Whatever the longitude and latitude, the home of the mishkan was "al pi Hashem yachanu", by  the word of G-D they settled.

Perhaps the numbers of Klall Yisrael were accurate for just a moment. Perhaps our nation was in transit. So there is no mitzvah for all time in this sefer. By the word of G-D, NOTHING is "JUST" temporary. The present is invaluable, the moment is priceless.

We are the most purposeful people on earth. A study has shown that the most widely shared unpleasant experience in the world is.....waiting. We have mitzvos to make the most of every moment in our lives. I heard a chassid telling a friend in a doctor's waiting room, "The waiting room was made so that the tehillim would be finished before we see the doctor".

We have no business getting caught up in the future while we lose focus on the importance of the present, no matter how temporary our situation may be.

With this in mind, may Hashem grace us with His love as it says, "Zacharti....Ahavas Klulosayich....Lechtaich Acharai Bamidbar".

Parshas Vayechi

Parshas Vayechi
In Parshas Vayechi, {49, 22} we find a very strange compliment to Yosef, as his father was blessing him. Yaakov Avinu felt it important to mention the how unblievably handsome Yosef HaTzaddik was! As Maran HaRav Shmuel Berenbaum zat"zl asked, "It seems as if Yaakov was praising Yosef with an 'Americanashe zach' ; that the Egyptian girls were all clamoring upon the walls to get a glimpse of Yosef ??!!

The Rosh Yeshivah zatz"l answered that indeed Yaakov avinu was expressing an extra-ordinary trait in Yosef. It should be noted, that the following psukim continue to speak about the hatred of the brothers towards Yosef and then Yosef's strength of spirit. The flow of the P'sukim suggests an understanding of human nature which can be very crucial in chinuch.



Every person needs to have an enviroment where he feels valued and appreciated. When a person is scoffed at or looked down upon or just ignored in one enviroment he will naturally be drawn and attracted to other sources to provide his need for approval. When Yosef HaTzaddik was so 'welcomed' and idolized by the society of Egypt after being ridiculed by his brothers as the 'dreamer', he was presented with a tremendous challenge of huge proportions. It is almost humanly impossible to withstand the powerful draw of being a social icon after years of neglect. This exemplified Yosef's nerves of steel, to stand strong and faithful while being starved of such a basic need of human nature.



Few can withstand this challenge. Let us not allow our children, friends, or colleagues, to be tempted by approval and appreciation from inappropriate sources. Let us provide them with their emotional needs in a healthy warm Torah enviroment so they should never be left thirsty for unhealthy nourishment elsewhere!